Faculty Events on Religious Holidays and Childcare

Mr. JP and I have to attend a mandatory faculty event on Good Friday. The event is very long (+9 hr). Day care is closed so we have the following options:

1. Find a baby sitter to watch the kids all day.

2. Bring our kids to the event.

3. Skip the event.

I want to do option 1, but 9 hours of babysitting will run me upwards of $150, which really pisses me off because why the hell should I pay $150 so that I can attend a mandatory faculty event that is going to bore me to tears?

Option 2, would be a big f*** you to the department, because my 1 yo will be insanely whiney and my 4 yo will talk about his butt non-stop. However, I don't want to deal with chasing after boys all day.

Option 3, could paint the false picture that I don't care about my job or that I don't care about the department. I don't have tenure, so this option is probably not a good choice.

This leaves us with option 1. Someone has to dish out $150 for babysitting - but who will pay? As I see it $150 is worth about 7.5 boxes of wine, so I really would rather have wine than babysitting. I asked my dept head if he would foot the bill. He wrote that he didn't know how to justify it, but he would pay. Thank goodness.

Now - if only this weren't on a religious holiday...

Adjudication

I wrote an email to the journal's editor requesting a fourth review. The editor agreed. Let's see where this goes.

The Manuscript That Just Won't Die

I have a zombie paper. This is the paper that should have been published many months ago, but since then, has accrued numerous rejections.

Needless to say, the last couple weeks have been horrible. Someone in my family was at the ER, that same night my grandmother passed, and I've been accumulating manuscript rejections like its nobody's business.

As for this manuscript, the science behind it is awesome. We've demonstrated something that people could only demonstrate under highly specialized conditions. Now, we can do it more broadly, and that allows there to be some sort of application. The manuscript was first submitted to a high IF journal, it went out to review, and was rejected. The reviews were all-in-all reasonable, but one review came from someone outside my field who didn't quite "get it". I sent the manuscript to a slightly less high IF journal and it was rejected without review. Third, I sent the the manuscript to a slightly less high IF journal than the one before hand, it went out to review, and was rejected this morning. Two reviews were outside the field and didn't "get it" and one reviewer was in the field and "got it."

Perhaps it is the angle on which I am selling this work, but it is not getting the reviews it deserves. When I present this work at conferences, lots of people get excited. It's formed the basis for a few collaborations and lots of exciting ongoing work. I cannot publish subsequent manuscripts until this zombie paper gets out, and a back log is resulting.

I am considering just writing the most recent editor and asking for another reviewer to see if that gets any more traction. I am also dreading the moment at which I will have to tell my student for the third time that his paper has been rejected.

Sleep and Work

This week has been rough because I've had a cold. Ever since starting Enbrel, getting a cold is like sitting under a ton of bricks. The duration is the same as pre-Enbrel, but the severity is far worse. Wednesday, I practically fell asleep while teaching. While sick, I am completely incapable of doing anything but sleeping. I can't even watch TV in bed without falling asleep! I calculate that I spent about 40% of my 9 AM to 5 PM work time in bed this week.

Spending all this time in bed had me wondering how much work time I lose to RA when I am not sick with a cold or flu. On average, it's about 10%. Usually by Friday, I am so worn out from just living that I take a long afternoon nap. But losing 10% of my 9-5 work time does not make me less productive. Instead, I find myself working at night after the kids have gone to bed to stay on top of things. It's not so bad, since I generally like working on manuscripts and writing proposals. I guess what I'm trying to say is that this overwhelming fatigue comes at any time, and my flexible work schedule lets me manage my career. If I were in industry, I couldn't say the same.

I still have piercing pain in my shoulder from holding the baby, so I've decided to start exercising again and to take supplements (fish oil, calcium, probiotics). I'm hoping to throw everything at it and see what sticks.

2 PI's and $100k per year give you nothing

My collaborator and I are writing a proposal to NSF together. I wrote the program director to ask about the budget, who then indicated that the total proposal should be $100k per year for the two of us together. I was shocked because I knew that $100k/yr can barely cover a single student and a single PI, but to stretch out twice as thin? That's just crazy talk.

I asked for clarification, and my fears were confirmed. It wasn't crazy talk. It was reality. Now how does NSF expect us to do collaborative research with one of our arms tied behind our back? The era of single PI-grants is coming to an end, so the budget model provided by the director doesn't jive. This can't be real. Anyone had this happen?

Two Kids, A Research Group, and Where My Time Goes

I've been missing because I've been busy!

Between two kids and running my group, I find very little time to blog! Papers are coming out, I have a grant coming in, and I am enjoying this moment and hoping it is steady state. My life is full and brimming with things to do. I get little time to myself.

Upon resuming meditation and mindfulness, I have come to realize that my "me" time is spent editing papers and writing grants… and I have realized that I actually enjoy doing these activities. Therefore, my "me" time is actually work time. That's sick, no? I am always working, so it is appearing that my work time should also present opportunities for enjoyment.

My group is bursting at the seams. I have 8 group members excluding miscellaneous undergrads. I manage them by meeting with each member for 1 hr once every 2 weeks. We have weekly group meetings. I go up to the lab every day to make sure no one is dead.

Sparky v.2 turned 1 yr. old this week. He is amazingly fantastic. He can walk and kind of say Mama and Dada. I love him so much I want to eat him. Sparky v.1 is 4 yr. old and amazing as well. We dance Gangnam style all the time.

I spend every spare moment editing papers and working on proposals. But, I no longer resent it. I enjoy it. I find it rewarding to take something awful (from my students) and turn it into something worth showcasing. As a new faculty I was very disappointed that my students' papers were so unpolished. Now I am over it. I just edit while watching X-files. FYI, I'm on season 8 so that's a lot of editing.

The arthritis is OK. Exercise helps, but I still have bad days. Enbrel is a miracle that allows me to live almost like a normal person. But I still run out of energy at around 9 PM. I recite to myself that "this is the best I can do"given the present circumstances. If it is not enough then everyone else can go f* themselves.

Anyways, I'm not dead. Just running around as busy as ever.

I am Not My Husband's Secretary

Students have been repeatedly stopping by my office, interrupting my work, and asking me about the whereabouts of my husband.

How in the world should I know where he is? I am at work!

It has become so bad (3x in less than one hour the other day) that I had to post a sign on my husband's office door. It said: "Dr. JP does not know where Dr. Mr. JP is. Thanks, Management."

I had a particularly aggravating exchange with a student recently. I am sure I was PMSing, but, hey, it happens. The students asked me where Mr. JP was. I said, "I am not his secretary." The student said nothing and just stared. I added, "Why don't you go ask some other faculty member where Mr. JP is." The student continued to stare. I said, "And why are you asking me where he is? Is there a particular reason?" The student apologized and promptly left.

And no, students do not ask my husband where I am. Perhaps I am more present? Or perhaps he is more intimidating. Draw your own conclusions.