It's Never Really Over

Just when I feel like I've got my health under some sort of control or equilibrium, I am reminded that it is not. I went to the rheumatologist for my annual ultrasound on my hands and wrists. At the appointment, he found new erosions and defects. Even though my pain is minimal, the damage is still progressing. I go back in 6 months to get the damage gauged again, and we can figure out what to medications to change.

He also told me that my last blood tests were abnormal. My white blood cell count was low. I took the test again, and it was still low. That would probably explain why I spend most of my weekends in bed lately. I take my weekly meds on Sat. and Sun. and am consumed with overwhelming fatigue. I am confident that there is some other pill or injection that is going to fix it all once we figure out the source of this.

And all this is going on while my lab is taking off. More publications are coming out, more money coming in. I work as hard as I can on the days that I feel good, and it is really paying off. I love my job and I do it as best I can, which seems to be good enough :) I'll submit my tenure package next year, and I am not so nervous about it, since the bar is pretty clear at my university. I feel compelled to give this my all because I don't want RA to beat me. I want to be an example to others that chronic disease is something to work around and work with - it is not a death sentence.