Thursday, April 7, 2011

If Only Funding Could Heal These Wounds

Yesterday I received the great news that I had won another grant from a hard-to-get source. With this new grant and my CAREER, I'm doing pretty well for tenure. Papers and moving students through the pipeline are the next thing on my mind. To celebrate we went out for BBQ - the kind you eat at a picnic table with butcher paper on top.

And today, I went to see my RA doctor. I always dread these appointments because they make me so depressed. This time I went to get an ultrasound done on my hands. The doctor spotted new bone erosions in my fingers and wrist. Translation: my disease is still progressing and has not slowed down.

How cruel it is to feel so great, to live without pain, but to still have this damned disease that marches on behind the scenes. The doctor says that I can feel fine, but that is no indication of how I'm actually doing with RA. Because I have the erosions so young, that sets me up for more later in life. I don't know what happens in the long run, but I just keep going as usual.


GMP said...

Congrats on your new funding!
I am sorry about the RA news.
Just hang in there. Life is good for now, so try to enjoy it. Don't think too much about what will come when you are older.

Schlupp said...

I'm full of admiration for your sister and you, so impressive.

Anonymous said...

sorry about your RA - its a terrible disease to live with.

i'm a postdoc in engineering thinking about faculty jobs. i am wondering how you go about finding funding? is there a strategy for choosing which to apply to, and how to navigate the funding maze as a new prof?