I was supposed to give an invited talk at a top 10 school this week, but I came down with a vicious stomach bug. I had to cancel because I couldn't even make it to the airport. I feel huge guilt for missing this fantastic opportunity. I wrote that I was sick and needed to reschedule for late Spring. I hope that they'll take me up on it! On the positive side, I got loads of sleep, discovered the miracles of antinausea meds, watched lots of Netflix, and got three weeks of class lectures done.
And I've been invited for a talk this spring, but it's too close to the baby's due date. This is the second one I've had to decline, and I also feel immense guilt over it. With my first child, I mistakenly accepted these kinds of opportunities and found myself at three conferences within the baby's first few weeks and months. Compounded with post-baby RA, it was a total disaster. So I'm not going to make the same mistake again, but I can't help regret a missed opportunity. Of course, it's only a few months and I've got the rest of time to give talks at conferences. Instead, I want to focus my energy during that time on the baby, on keeping the lab running, and on resting.
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It takes lots of strength to say no to opportunities and to stay true to your priorities! The guilt you would feel being away from your baby few weeks after his birth would probably be much greater than the guilt you feel now about declining opportunities. Your are one strong scientist-mama!
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