I see my rheumatologist tomorrow to get the X-rays, and I'm scared. I keep looking at my hands.
My left index finger is looking deformed, but maybe that's my imagination cuz I'm been staring at m'damn hands too much. I'm scared that he may tell me that the damage has begun, that I have to go on something scary like Enbrel, that I can't live my life. Yes, I'm overdramatic, but I'm so scared and just writing it out here so that my husband doesn't have to hear me for the umpteenth time.
But then - even if my finger looks deformed - it doesn't hurt, and I can bend it. So keep on the bright side, or at least try to.