Wow, this month is going to be a s**t-storm. I'm presently at a conference and these two hours of relative silence in my hotel room have given me a lot of future-thinking to do. Usually, I've got distractions at work (undergrads, grads, committee meetings, speakers, etc) and home (whining: why can't I have juice, chores, hygiene:ugh, cooking) and there is no time to just…silently…think. I don't even have time to think about who I am! Why, I'm me of course, but what does that mean?
Well, I still don't have enough time to contemplate my purpose or my existence, but I've got enough time right this moment to think about how the next few weeks are going to be crazy. On top of the usual teaching load and research duties, I've got Thanksgiving at my house. Somewhere in there is the DoE Early Career deadline… And I haven't started. The DARPA Young Faculty Award is going to pop up soon, and I question if I should also be trying for the ONR Young Investigator. 2 proposals to review, 3 papers to review. One manuscript of my own to edit and submit. How can I possibly do all of this and still teach and maintain my lab? Well, somehow I do - I always do. That proposal always gets in on time, the paper gets written, the students get taught. I shouldn't worry about it, and just accept that I get stuff done even if it means some tough weeks ahead.
I've hired a mother's helper to come in one weekday night so that my husband and I can get caught up on work. I'm suspending weekly meetings with my individual group members until early December. I'm working extra time as soon as my son is asleep. I know that it'll end right around Christmas. I've just got to hang on…
I think that I'll just take all the help I can get. Let the maid clean my house. Hire babysitters. Cook frozen casseroles from the store. It's only temporary insanity. Fortunately, my family understands this craziness because my sister and husband are also professors. My son understands; we've taught him to chant "NSF give me money!" Too cute.